The Snarky Political Blog

The scandals are falling apart

Absent further revelations, the possible scandals that reach high enough don’t seem to include any real wrongdoing, whereas the ones that include real wrongdoing don’t reach high enough.

The House Education Committee

theperksofbeinganisha:

Sitting in this committee meeting, I have realized the real issue in the higher education debate. Republicans think higher education is a privilege and therefore shouldn’t be made affordable. Democrats think it is a public good, and therefore should. I honestly don’t think we can find a solution with this sort of fundamemtal difference in thought.

thepoliticalfreakshow: BullMitt: Romney Tells Recent Female Grads To Have A “Quiverfull” of Kids,” And Why It’s More Disturbing Than You Think This week, Mitt Romney delivered an interesting commencement speech to the (very Mormon populated) Southern Virginia University’s graduating class. Sharing his secrets for “abundant living,” Romney urged the new grads to go out, get married, and procreate like crazy. ‘Get married,’ he said, and “Have a quiver full of kids if you can.”  Also, hurry.  Staying single until your thirties could be a big mistake. A quiver full of kids aren’t born over night.  “Some people could marry but choose to take more time, they say, for themselves. Others plan to wait until they’re well into their 30s or 40s until they think about getting married,” he said, “They’re going to miss so much of living, I’m afraid.” Girls, forget about establishing a career before you get married or have children. Why spend your body’s prime child-bearing years working, when you could be breast-feeding on a much smaller salary?  As Romney reminds the class of Southern Virginia University, wealth is not guaranteed. Not everybody knows how to cut corners, exploit workers, and watch the profits rise. Even fewer are born into the power necessary to accumulate wealth in America. Anybody biologically capable, however, can make a quiver full of babies. “I don’t think God cares whether you get rich,” he warned the crowd. “I don’t think he hopes that your business will make a huge profit. I know a lot of religious people who think God will intervene to make their investments grow. Or he’ll get them a promotion. To make their business a success. But life on this earth is about learning to live in a place where God does not make everything work out for good people.” BUT. If you find a mate and procreate, you’re all good! “Every one of you here today as a graduate can live an abundant life,” he told the students. “Every single one of you. You will not all be rich and famous and powerful, but each of you can live an eminently successful, rewarding, abundant life.” Romney, on the other hand, will remain rich and famous and powerful. But not everybody can do that. So just shut up and get pregnant, already. What Does “Quiverfull” Mean? During a recent interview on the Today Show, Jim Bob Duggar blurted out, “It’s fun trying!” when asked if he and Michelle were actively seeking to have another baby.  Today’s host, Savannah Guthrie responded to the mega-dad’s salacious remark with, “Jim Bob - you sly dog!” Viewers may have come away with the impression that TLC’s “19 & Counting” celebrity parents, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar hold very casual, perhaps even avant-garde attitudes regarding sex and sexuality. But a quick look beneath the surface reveals that America’s most celebrated Quiverfull couple believe and espouse decidedly unhealthy ideas when it comes to sex and babymaking. Although Jim Bob makes frequent displays of romantic affection toward his prolific wife, Michelle, which would suggest that the couple might enjoy sex for non-procreative purposes, the “biblical family values” advocates— whose “literal” interpretations of scripture inspire the Duggars to receive each and every pregnancy as an unmitigated blessing from God—also teach that the primary purpose of woman is to conceive and bear sons, i.e., “arrows” for God’s army. Consider Romans 1:27: “And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.” Quiverfull movement leader, Mary Pride, in her seminal book, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism and Back to Reality, offers the following interpretation of “the natural use of the woman” … Since the word used for female is connected so strongly with the idea of nursing babies, whereas it has no connection at all with the idea of sexual activity, I believe that God is saying here that when women exchange their natural function of childbearing and motherliness for that which is “against nature” (that is, trying to behave sexually like a man), the men tend to abandon the natural sexual use of the women and turn to homosexuality. (pp. 27-28) Nancy Campbell, “editress” of Above Rubies—an international Christian women’s magazine— encourages “women in their high calling as wives, mothers, and homemakers” by explaining in her book, Be Fruitful & Multiply: What the Bible Says About Having Children, that the word “woman” is a combination of the words “womb” and “man.” Woman means “womb man” or “man with a womb.” With regard to the Romans 1:27 “natural use of the woman” passage, Campbell says, ”Women were created by God’s design to function as nourishers by nourishing life in their womb and a babe at their breast.  When women deliberately turn away from their natural functions, they do it to their own detriment.” (pp. 105-107) Sure “family values” champion, Jim Bob Duggar puts on a nice show of desiring his godly wife for more than just her ability to produce yet another arrow for his already overflowing quiver … but Jim Bob’s hermeneutics as well as his politics belie enigmatic presuppositions about the purpose of marriage, sex, and Christian wives. Speaking in regard to Todd Akin’s recent “legitimate rape” and Paul Ryan’s rape as a “method of conception” remarks, Amanda Marcotte explains the fundamentalist mentality that, “the fact that someone can make a baby means that making babies is what she is for. … Women are among an array of objects to be used. The refrigerator is for storing food. The bookshelf is for holding books. The woman is for making babies. You no more give her a choice in the matter than you would give your refrigerator veto power over what food it holds because it didn’t like your method of shopping.” Could another pregnancy be life-threatening for Michelle Duggar? Might it be risky for baby #20? Could another pregnancy leave their 19 already-born children motherless? Yes - of course! Is Jim Bob Duggar having fun trying to get his wife pregnant nevertheless?  If making babies is Michelle’s divine purpose - if that is why God made her … why shouldn’t her husband enjoy knocking her up one more time? It’s only natural. Jim Bob - you sly dog! What the actual fuck. 

thepoliticalfreakshow:

BullMitt: Romney Tells Recent Female Grads To Have A “Quiverfull” of Kids,” And Why It’s More Disturbing Than You Think

This week, Mitt Romney delivered an interesting commencement speech to the (very Mormon populated) Southern Virginia University’s graduating class. Sharing his secrets for “abundant living,” Romney urged the new grads to go out, get married, and procreate like crazy.

‘Get married,’ he said, and “Have a quiver full of kids if you can.” 

Also, hurry.  Staying single until your thirties could be a big mistake. A quiver full of kids aren’t born over night. 

“Some people could marry but choose to take more time, they say, for themselves. Others plan to wait until they’re well into their 30s or 40s until they think about getting married,” he said, “They’re going to miss so much of living, I’m afraid.”

Girls, forget about establishing a career before you get married or have children. Why spend your body’s prime child-bearing years working, when you could be breast-feeding on a much smaller salary? 

As Romney reminds the class of Southern Virginia University, wealth is not guaranteed. Not everybody knows how to cut corners, exploit workers, and watch the profits rise. Even fewer are born into the power necessary to accumulate wealth in America. Anybody biologically capable, however, can make a quiver full of babies.

“I don’t think God cares whether you get rich,” he warned the crowd. “I don’t think he hopes that your business will make a huge profit. I know a lot of religious people who think God will intervene to make their investments grow. Or he’ll get them a promotion. To make their business a success. But life on this earth is about learning to live in a place where God does not make everything work out for good people.”

BUT. If you find a mate and procreate, you’re all good! “Every one of you here today as a graduate can live an abundant life,” he told the students. “Every single one of you. You will not all be rich and famous and powerful, but each of you can live an eminently successful, rewarding, abundant life.”

Romney, on the other hand, will remain rich and famous and powerful. But not everybody can do that. So just shut up and get pregnant, already.

What Does “Quiverfull” Mean?

During a recent interview on the Today Show, Jim Bob Duggar blurted out, “It’s fun trying!” when asked if he and Michelle were actively seeking to have another baby.  Today’s host, Savannah Guthrie responded to the mega-dad’s salacious remark with, “Jim Bob - you sly dog!”

Viewers may have come away with the impression that TLC’s “19 & Counting” celebrity parents, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar hold very casual, perhaps even avant-garde attitudes regarding sex and sexuality.

But a quick look beneath the surface reveals that America’s most celebrated Quiverfull couple believe and espouse decidedly unhealthy ideas when it comes to sex and babymaking.

Although Jim Bob makes frequent displays of romantic affection toward his prolific wife, Michelle, which would suggest that the couple might enjoy sex for non-procreative purposes, the “biblical family values” advocates— whose “literal” interpretations of scripture inspire the Duggars to receive each and every pregnancy as an unmitigated blessing from God—also teach that the primary purpose of woman is to conceive and bear sons, i.e., “arrows” for God’s army.

Consider Romans 1:27: “And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”

Quiverfull movement leader, Mary Pride, in her seminal book, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism and Back to Reality, offers the following interpretation of “the natural use of the woman” …

Since the word used for female is connected so strongly with the idea of nursing babies, whereas it has no connection at all with the idea of sexual activity, I believe that God is saying here that when women exchange their natural function of childbearing and motherliness for that which is “against nature” (that is, trying to behave sexually like a man), the men tend to abandon the natural sexual use of the women and turn to homosexuality. (pp. 27-28)

Nancy Campbell, “editress” of Above Rubies—an international Christian women’s magazine— encourages “women in their high calling as wives, mothers, and homemakers” by explaining in her book, Be Fruitful & Multiply: What the Bible Says About Having Children, that the word “woman” is a combination of the words “womb” and “man.” Woman means “womb man” or “man with a womb.”

With regard to the Romans 1:27 “natural use of the woman” passage, Campbell says, ”Women were created by God’s design to function as nourishers by nourishing life in their womb and a babe at their breast.  When women deliberately turn away from their natural functions, they do it to their own detriment.” (pp. 105-107)

Sure “family values” champion, Jim Bob Duggar puts on a nice show of desiring his godly wife for more than just her ability to produce yet another arrow for his already overflowing quiver … but Jim Bob’s hermeneutics as well as his politics belie enigmatic presuppositions about the purpose of marriage, sex, and Christian wives.

Speaking in regard to Todd Akin’s recent “legitimate rape” and Paul Ryan’s rape as a “method of conception” remarks, Amanda Marcotte explains the fundamentalist mentality that, “the fact that someone can make a baby means that making babies is what she is for. … Women are among an array of objects to be used. The refrigerator is for storing food. The bookshelf is for holding books. The woman is for making babies. You no more give her a choice in the matter than you would give your refrigerator veto power over what food it holds because it didn’t like your method of shopping.”

Could another pregnancy be life-threatening for Michelle Duggar? Might it be risky for baby #20? Could another pregnancy leave their 19 already-born children motherless? Yes - of course! Is Jim Bob Duggar having fun trying to get his wife pregnant nevertheless?  If making babies is Michelle’s divine purpose - if that is why God made her … why shouldn’t her husband enjoy knocking her up one more time? It’s only natural.

Jim Bob - you sly dog!

What the actual fuck. 

Thousands across the Country Die of Food Poisoning; Engineers Create Rectangular Potato

WASHINGTON – Thousands of cases of fatal food poisonings have been reported across the country in the last 3 days, and the victim count is increasing at an alarming rate. Experts have traced the source of the food poisoning to a strain of potato from the food giant Monsanto. The experts say that the potato seeds were genetically mutated to grow in a more rectangular shape at the request of McDonalds, whose fries contain about 30% potato and account for more than half of the consumer demand for the crop. 

“I think it’s amazing how far genetic engineering has come in the past few years. It seems like just yesterday that boneless chickens were introduced to American farms,” said Howard Finn, leading geneticist at Johns Hopkins University. “This setback is unfortunate, but I just have to say that I am really amazed at how the potatoes turned out! They are seriously perfectly rectangular, and just the right size for McDonalds’ trademark fry cutters.” 

People affected by the poisoning have reported painful stomach cramps, acid reflux, and in most cases severe throat swelling leading to asphyxiation. Most of the victims had no time to get to a hospital, but doctors haven’t found a cure yet. Several car accidents as a result of the sudden deaths have been reported, and police are asking that anyone eating McDonalds’ fries allow someone else to drive. 

Linda White, an angry spouse of one of the victims said about the recent events, “It really upsets me to hear people complaining about the companies making our food. My husband got to die with a full stomach, and he really enjoyed that all of the fries were the same length; he is not a victim. The true victims here are the poor companies being blamed for trying to make the world a better place with their food.” 

Ms. White was one of the many family members of the deceased invited to a press conference held by Ron McDonald, founder and CEO of McDonalds. At the conference, McDonald announced that in light of the recent events, the company will be giving out its new 100% meatless burger to any family members of the victims with a doctor’s note confirming their relationship to the deceased. The move is estimated to set the company back about $100,000, a figure that Monsanto has generously agreed to match in funds for research and development of water-free ice. “Our companies are working closely together in order to bring the people of America more food at lower costs,” announced McDonald at the conference. 

“It’s so good to see that these companies really care about their customers. My son has been really struggling to eat at the school cafeteria because the salad bar options just don’t taste very good. It felt great to be able to bring him something he could really eat,” reported Dean Paul, a parent who has been struggling to find meals after his wife passed away yesterday from the food poisoning. “I just can’t help but feel indebted to these wonderful people at McDonalds and Monsanto who go so far out of their way just to help out a guy like me.” 

Some people are less optimistic about the future of the food industry. Phillip Fry explained to one of our reporters, “You just can’t find any good food anymore. I miss when anchovy pizza was made with real cheese. I really hope we keep some real food around in the future.” 

Mr. Fry’s opinion was not shared by most of the people that our reporters talked to. Most, like Ms. White, are just happy to see that their favorite restaurants will still be serving plenty of food in the times to come. Official reports from Monsanto estimate that the rectangular potato will be re-introduced in about a month, when consumers can expect to see the product in every fast food restaurant in America.

By: Wesley Fullmer 

theperksofbeinganisha: darrynek: “Our Education System” i really wish i could find out who made this picture and credit them for it because it’s honestly spot on Good god, I hate the education system. I mean, they give absolutely two shits about the students and only care about the tests, the tests which are watered down so that teachers can get the money…teachers on tenure basically giving two shits about the students, because they get paid either way. Why can’t we see and conduct education for what it is. Education is how we’re supposed to get ahead in lives. It’s supposed to get us a better job and we’re supposed to become passionate about something because of education. We are supposed to want to do better with our lives because of education. Instead, we go to school and hate it because the teachers don’t care and we have to take these tests all the damn time. And you get treated like “just another student”, not looking at your needs, at your strengths, or your weaknesses. I love learning, but it is definitely not because of school. School would have beat it out of me if I had let it.

theperksofbeinganisha:

darrynek:

“Our Education System”

i really wish i could find out who made this picture and credit them for it because it’s honestly spot on

Good god, I hate the education system. I mean, they give absolutely two shits about the students and only care about the tests, the tests which are watered down so that teachers can get the money…teachers on tenure basically giving two shits about the students, because they get paid either way. Why can’t we see and conduct education for what it is. Education is how we’re supposed to get ahead in lives. It’s supposed to get us a better job and we’re supposed to become passionate about something because of education. We are supposed to want to do better with our lives because of education. Instead, we go to school and hate it because the teachers don’t care and we have to take these tests all the damn time. And you get treated like “just another student”, not looking at your needs, at your strengths, or your weaknesses. I love learning, but it is definitely not because of school. School would have beat it out of me if I had let it.